Small Moments Matter More Than Wedding Traditions

Or, Let’s Talk About Socks...

Most people know what a wedding looks like.

They can picture the white dress, the walk down the aisle, the photos, the speeches, the bit where someone cries unexpectedly and pretends it is hay fever.

But very few people stop to ask a more interesting question:

What is a wedding actually for?

Because if it is just a performance, a sequence of traditions borrowed from other people’s days, then what makes it special? What makes it yours?

I believe a wedding should do something much quieter and much more powerful.

It should recognise a simple truth: the little things are the big things.

Marriage is not the "big" moments

Marriage is not just the proposal. Or the first time you said I love you. Or the big dramatic arguments you later laugh about.

Those moments matter, of course they do. But they are not what make a relationship feel like a marriage.

Marriage lives in the background. In the ordinary. In the quiet and unremarkable. The funny, irritating, deeply specific stuff that only the two of you ever notice.

Like when one of you leaves their socks lying around aaaaaall the time, and the other one is always asking you to pick them up and you really do mean too, honest! But it doesn't quiet happen.

And it's annoying, and irritating, and it doesn't really matter (I mean, sometimes it does) but weirdly it is one of the things you think about most.

And one day, without warning, that irritation turns warmer. Kinder. Sweeter.

You know what that is?

Marriage.

Marriage, oh dear reader, is a pair of socks.

They are the quiet evidence of a life being lived together.

And that, that is what your wedding should be about.

Marriage is choosing to pick up your socks

Marriage is not about finding someone perfect.

It is about finding someone who you will try and pick your socks up for.

And who will not be too angry when you inevitably forget...

Someone who sees the socks on the floor and does not see disrespect, or laziness, or the beginning of a serious conversation.

They see a person they love, living a life beside them.

This is where marriage actually happens.

In the small acts of grace. In the quiet allowances. In the understanding that the little things are the big things, because they happen every single day.

Why so many weddings feel the same

What is he talking about? What does this have to do with a wedding?

To miss-quote Gary Oldman - EVERYTHING!

Ok, here is the problem with most wedding ceremonies.

They are built around expectation, not meaning.

They rely on generic language, traditions no one remembers choosing, and grand declarations that sound impressive but float above real life and, let's face it; sometimes make people cringe...

They tell couples what a wedding should be, instead of asking who they actually are.

And the result?

A ceremony that is perfectly fine. Perfectly pleasant. Perfectly forgettable.

You leave knowing what the wedding looked like, but not what the marriage will feel like.

Reimagining what a wedding ceremony can be

To reimagine what a wedding can be, you do not need to throw tradition out of the window.

You just need to stop treating it like a rulebook.

A great wedding ceremony is not louder. It is not longer. It is not more dramatic.

It is more specific.

The way one of you always falls asleep with the light on after reading.

The look you share at a party when someone has said that thing again and you both know what is coming. The giggle they do that secretly makes you smile.

Taking out the bins, forgotting to put fuel in the car, washing up debates, the holiday planning, the spilt coffee.

And yes, the socks.

These are not distractions from love.

They are love. They are reality.

Your wedding should feel like you

The reason I describe myself as a storyteller celebrant is not that I want to perform at your wedding.

It is because I want to listen.

Every couple has their own version of socks. Their own small rituals. Their own quiet compromises. Their own understanding of what really matters.

My job is not to impose a style or squeeze you into a template.

My job is to notice what already exists, and reflect it back to you clearly, honestly, and with warmth. To find your version of socks, whatever it may be, and then to build your bespoke ceremony around that!

That is how a wedding ceremony becomes personal without being cringey, emotional without being overblown, and funny without turning into a performance.

And crucially, it becomes memorable for the right reasons.

Finding your version of socks

Your wedding does not need to prove anything. It does not need to impress anyone. It does not need to follow a script that was never written for you.

It just needs to be true.

True to your relationship. True to how you love. True to the life you are already building together, socks and all.

Every marriage is unique. Every marriage has its own version of socks.

Small moments matter more than wedding traditions, and if you want a wedding ceremony that reflects that, one that reimagines what a wedding can be, I can help you find yours.